So today I had a flashback to my past of primary school, I think year six. There was one time when we were preparing for out SATS and we did a mock English test. English had always been my favourite subject and an exam I actually looked forward to. Now this mock of course I looked forward to and was like 'YEAH! What did I just do? SMASH ITTTTT!!' I thought I had aced it and was so excited because I thought it could be my highest mark EVER.
Next day when my teacher had marked them I was so excited to see my mark what was it? A red frowny face with a very very low mark. She gave handed it back with my first ever experience of huge disappointment. I remember feeling like a brick was pummeling my stomach over and over for being so stupid. That was also the first time I cried over a test.
When I was in a depressive state of mind that was the thing I could use as my weapon to wham me further down and I managed to move on from it somehow but I haven't thought of that for soso long and to suddenly remember it made me quite shocked at what I remember and let me be marvel at the capacity of what our brains retain and smuggle to the recesses of our mind.
Not a happy subject matter but it led to an interesting thought.
I also remembered this Controvento, senz'olio (Fragments Found) by Fabrizio Paterlini. I like pianos a lot, their limit of keys yet fluidity and variation of noises amaze me.
I just warn you depending on your mood it can be reflective, downing or calming. I just love it.
Ciao ;)
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